Is this life an experiment…an experiment to search the unknown and to experience the unknown,, where you may fail or succeed? If everything we do an experiment and every experiment is a new experience, then, why the regret? Isn’t it senseless to wish “ I could have done that differently or to think that I was a fraud, or that I didn’t live up to the mark. We simply did our best and unless we experiment how do we know that , this would be the outcome?
It seems in our life’s laboratory we perceive something and develop a feeling on it and this sparks a reaction which leads to an action….Yes an experiment has taken place. And are we getting that pale pink liquid that we ought to in this our life’s lab when we add that alkali from the pipette into the beaker drop by drop?…well not really. Most often…shrrrr..here comes the alkali in a rush even though we were careful and thus end up with a purple liquid in the beaker , instead of the pale pink liquid that we were hoping so much for. Nevertheless, we learned.
Should this view make us less responsible towards our action? Not really. No one does anything by completely believing that they were doing something wrong. While thinking back to a few of my actions, the lessons I learned and the decisions for the future can be seen as the best outcome from the experiments that I had done. There is no failed experiment. Every experiment was simply an eye opener to see what happens if I would do it this way..
Together with these experiments and experiences make my life worth living
Thinking of a friend who said
തോരാത്ത തിരയൽ ആകുന്നു ജന്മം ….(life is a never ending search..)
The search continues…so does the experiment…
yet, the pearls i come across in my search are priceless.
My ice skating experiment ..
When ever I read about people who have gone beyond their comfort zone to achieve things , I have often wondered about the feeling they went through while undertaking the tasks they did , thus decided to explore it by joining an ice skating lesson . . It proved to be a perfect activity to test my comfort zone theory due to the following reasons:
1.The notion that “Malayali family women” do not do these kind of things !!
2. My classmates will be little kids (the same age as my own kids) as I was unable to attend adult classes due to work time limitations .
3. To most people I spoke to ( malayalees obviously this activity didn’t sound like learning a new skill, and most laughed at me!!
In the very first lesson I realized that, going beyond our comfort zone hurts bad- as i fell down countless times . Since many people from the gallery were watching this ordeal I should admit it was embarrassing , thus learned, “beyond our comfort zone”often makes people embarrassed
In the following classes I slowly gained confidence and balance though occasional falls were still ongoing . My break time was spent looking around and admiring those older people balancing perfectly and dreaming of the day when I could skate like them . The important lesson I learned was when you go ” beyond your comfort zone” it is very important to look at people who have gone beyond their comfort zone than those who simply laugh and advice but never do anything like this in their entire life !!
But the biggest learning came when in the 7th class I fell down and broke not only my arm but my ego as well. I finally came to the conclusion that before venturing out on your adventure you need support from your own family . Finally it hit me.. it is not possible to “change our family” in order to go beyond our comfort zone!!
But will it stop me .. Certainly not 🙂 And life will move on 🙂
When relationship comes to a stage its focus changes. Though initially it was multi focused with so many different elements and aspects that strengthen this relationship , now it has become much more single focused. Often this focus will be what both parties desire most from this relationship (atleast it may appears so) and from then the relationship drives to fulfill this particular need /focus
But then what happens when the relationship starts its journey by keeping this one particular focus in mind? Imagine a green lush tree and let us take the trunk of this tree as a relationship between two people. It has established its roots in the soil and has started growing slowly..This lush green tree is growing and glowing with so many lush branches. Isn’t it these lush branches that give identity and strength to the trunk of this tree?, Together with all these branches the tree rejoices when small breeze caresses its leaves. Now imagine one branch decided to grow by itself. It just has become one tall branch going up and up. No longer can the other branches reach it. It has become more open to sun, wind and rain and there are no other branches around it to support it. Thus it has become much more prone to dangers such as strong wind or lightening, which may affect the existence of the whole tree one day.
It seems most relationship fails once it loses its multi focus. Is it not better to be a trunk of a nice lush green tree where all the branches are equally maintained and taken care of? It is easier to be single focused in a relationship, but like anything else it requires ongoing effort and hard work to maintain a relationship where all branches grow strongly and in balance and thus support and strengthen the relationship and people around it.
Once up on a time ,
5 Friends, 5 life implications and lessons I learned :):)
1. Dictionary friend : This friend taught me that words don’t mean exactly what they do in the dictionary.. Often my own interpretation and the way I see things , can give much more unnecessary meaning to the words that is been spoken ,thus may give me a picture far from reality (and I was a fool 🙂 )
2. Fevicol glue friend : This friend proved that , no matter how strong the bond is , if there is no effort in maintaining the bond, even this Fevicol bond may loose strength at some stage..( and I was in pretence )
3. Smarty Pant friend : This friend established the universal fact that there is no point in keeping a friendship by continuing to compromise on my part. By compromising too much I am allowing my friend to take advantage of me and thus he /she may never realize my actual worth…( and I was in denial 🙂 )
4. Ocean friend: This friend revealed that some friendships can be too deep and meaningful, like an ocean with full of hidden treasures, though it doesn’t look like this on a daily basis. We may only realize the true meaning this friend bore in our lives only once we lose this person..( and I made a mistake 😦 )
5. Mystery friend: This friend confirmed that the best way to keep a friendship is by looking at how this friend treats you and value you . It may not be a great idea to look at how this friend treat others and compare that to see where my position is, in his / her life. By doing so , I may bring sorrow ( and I suffered 😦 )
“Like a flowing river “……..
Still the life continues so does the lesson ..:)
Relationships have always puzzled me. Most often I see them as a form of control. One person tries to control the other person and tries to mold him /her to meet his /her own needs. It is a constant battle. The expectations are endless and no one wins .
Long ago I read that by themselves man and woman are only half a circle. They constantly seek each other to become a full circle. But it seems instead of becoming a perfect full circle often people try to suck each other in to his/her own half circle to fulfill his/her unmet needs and when two people do the same a battle begins and it continues.
Why it is soo difficult to accept the other person as she or he is…Why do we expect and demand that the other person should be molded to meet our own needs ..Why is it that our needs are endless.. I don’t know
Every time when I experience a relationship, it makes me more conscious of my own unfulfilled needs and the desperate desire to fulfill my own needs and my conscious and unconscious battle to mold the other person in my own way to full fill this . The me within this selfish me questions my soul and I can see that I haven’t grown at all…
To become a contented and peaceful person and thus experience a contented and happy relationship still remains as a dream. May be it is a mirage. After all humans are self centered creatures and the purpose of life may be to fulfill one’s own needs..…
still….നിന്റെ സ്നേഹത്തിൽ നിന്നാണ് ഞാൻ സ്നേഹും എന്താണന്നു അറിയുന്നത് ,ഒപ്പം ഞാൻ ആരെന്നും എന്തെന്നും 🙂
( still…It is from your love that i know what love is and whom and what i am )
My friend told me the other day that we get what we reflect up on ..
If I reflect happiness I get happiness reflected back
If i reflect anger I get anger back
If I reflect love I get love back
If I reflect criticism I become subjected to criticism too
And If I feel ashamed of having someone , Someone else will feel ashamed of having me too 😊
And since I don’t know what to call this principle let me call it as “the universal principle of reflection” .. 😊
.. And don’t forget that we all are subjected to this universal principle of reflection 😊
Still I won’t say that we should reflect carefully … Reflect what u like but just be cautious that it will be reflected back one or the other way .. But life moves on ..:)