One of my friends made an unexpected decision of deactivating her facebook account and I should admit that I didn’t take that decision very well due to many reasons. It gave me a few difficult days and finally I came to the following conclusion.
One of the baselines that we use to judge others or form an opinion is our own quite natural perception of placing ourselves in that situation . In this case straight away I asked my self “would I have done this to her if I were in her situation” and of course the answer was as we all know “ no never” :):):)..and then I became more upset with this brooding thought of “still she did this to me”
.So it seems often, that, by arriving at a conclusion, that “ we would have never done such a thing” we are ready to form our own opinion and attitude towards something or someone. And it is applicable to almost everything, be it a simple thing of seeing someone behaving in certain manner or to a news involving situation of abuse, stealing, or murder.
You see , as I don’t have anything else to wonder at the moment, just wondering on the following four aspects :):)::):)
1.Doesn’t this genuine comparison ( not suspecting our comparison result here at all) actually block me to see the truth further..?…
2.Has this baseline (that I wouldn’t do it) already make my stand “exclusive” by giving me certain pre set pattern of thinking and attitude, therefore whatever way I may choose to react or respond ,has already become veryyyyyy veryyyy.. biased,?
3.Therefore I am forgetting a crucial fact here that it is not me with this unique, amazing (..!!.) personality facing it, rather it is “someone else” with entirely different uniqueness and background to have faced this unique situation thus has made his/her own unique decision..
4.Then how can I form an opinion and attitude based on “I might do or not do “ when facing a situation that ..well …didn’t go exactly the way I hoped..
Though this realization is not to make a right wrong or wrong right still realizing how difficult it is to see the “essence’ in any person or situation when we get hurt or become sad and upset……
(P.S : my friend said she would be back soon ..:):):)….)
Monthly Archives: May 2013
Which relationship is the strongest ..
Once my friend asked , which relationship is the strongest.
Is it between husband and wife, parents and children, between friends, between siblings, between lovers or….. ? I can’t remember what conclusion
we reached though a heated discussion followed …but I would like to share the following incident that took my memory back on to this question.
A husband and wife came to see us.. After the initial few
mts we noticed that the lady was fiddling with her jacket pockets and it seemed that her full attention was on what was there in her pocket.. When the
person with me asked her to show what it was, a big smile beamed on her face.
She took the items out one by one. There were coins, safety pins, few vitamin tablets, buttons , buckles, pegs, dog food pellets and a few different little objects. The person pointed to the the coin, and asked her to name the coin. She stared at it for a long time and then shook her head and said “no “ then the person pointed to the button , again she said “no ” Then another wide smile beamed on her face when I said she could put all these items back into her pocket. This sweet lady is a 60 + yr old and has a diagnosis of dementia for the past few yrs . With her diagnosis , her husband lost acompanion forever . Her husband told us that she did not recognise him any more and had begun to think that he was her father…. They had spent 40 + years of togetherness and happiness, and now she had simply become his child, and that is all she could be.’
i don’t know which relationship is the strongest, it may not be comparable..so leaving it up to your judgment and decision..but I do know most often until we lose this person as a companion, we may never
completely realize how much this person was valuable in our lives, and how strong the relationship was .